


Not Yet

by lorcaswhisky (aristofranes)



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Gen, a jeremy bearimy approach to time, handwavy alternate timelines, one of them stuck in the future, the other stuck in the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-11 03:22:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18421785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aristofranes/pseuds/lorcaswhisky
Summary: “You want to know whether you made the right decision. On Qo’noS.”It’s not a question.Essof IV. Gabrielle Burnham and Katrina Cornwell meet for the first time. Again.





	Not Yet

The Red Angel sits cross-legged on the floor of the Essof IV facility, dust curling lazily around her. She gazes up at the mecha-suit in front of her as though deep in meditation.

Not the Red Angel. Dr Burnham. Dr Gabrielle Burnham.

Just a human, after all.

She gives no indication that she has heard Katrina approach the makeshift cell, until she speaks, abruptly, without looking round.

“You want to know whether you made the right decision. On Qo’noS.” 

It’s not a question. Gabrielle sounds tired. Resigned.

_ Time traveller,  _ Katrina reminds herself.  _ That’s a cheap trick.  _

There is a long pause, scored by the hum of the forcefield surrounding Gabrielle.

“You know,” she sighs, “the prophet Cassandra was cursed by Apollo. She could only speak the truth, but no matter how terrible her warnings, no one would ever believe her.” She stands, considering the forcefield above her head, crackling in the artificial atmosphere of the facility, and shrugs. “I’m not sure what’s worse. To tell the truth and be dismissed, or to tell the truth only for it to be forgotten.”

Katrina does not waver. 

“Did I? Make the right decision?”

Gabrielle turns at last. She takes in the gleam of gold on Katrina’s shoulders, the badge on her chest.

She hesitates. 

“You made the call,” she says eventually. “It's done.”

“But you’ve seen--”

“-- seen a hundred different versions of you make a hundred different decisions. Yes. And all of those different decisions were based on a thousand different decisions before that one, all of  _ them _ hinged on the hundreds of thousands of different decisions of everyone else around you. A billion possible futures burning out at every turn. But here, in  _ this _ now, the decisions you made brought you down this path. That has to be enough.”

“The decision I made destroyed an entire planet. Civilians. A billion possible futures burned out at the touch of button. How can that ever be enough?”

*

“ _ You  _ are alive. The Federation can rebuild, in time. So long as there is time, that is,” Gabrielle corrects herself. “What more do you want?”

Katrina’s face is drawn, the dark circles under her eyes a vivid purple on her pale skin. But her jaw is set. Resolute.  

“I want your help.”

She is wearing what was probably a uniform once, military fatigues now so faded and worn that they are almost camouflage in the dust of Essof IV. 

It’s a miracle that they managed to cobble together the tech required to pull this plan off in the first place, Gabrielle reflects. But the whining noise emitting from the generators, and the angry sparks dancing at intermittent intervals across the surface of the forcefield, give away how thinly their resources are stretched.  

Too much more, and the whole thing will snap. Much like the woman standing in front of her.

“Saving the universe isn’t a priority for you, then?” Gabrielle asks, her tone neutral. 

“Saving  _ us  _ doesn’t have to be incompatible with what you’re trying to achieve. We can’t help you from underground. But if you went back to that day on Qo’noS, we could strike before the Klingons’ attack, restore the Federation - we could work together.”

“We’ve been through all this before,” Gabrielle replies, wearily. “I can’t do that.”

“Almost all of our leadership was on Earth when the bomb detonated. Countless civilians. Since then, we’ve fragmented. Every planet for itself. If you don’t help us now, there’ll be nothing left for you to save. It means annihilation either way.”

“It doesn’t work like that. I’m sorry--”

“Please.” For the first time, there’s a quiver in Katrina’s voice. “You have the power to change this. Help me make this right.”

“You want me to rewrite history because one woman is worried that she made a mistake?”

“Why not?” Katrina is all business again, as though nothing had happened. “That's what this is all about really, isn't it? The suit. Your mission. Trying to fix your mistake.”

Gabrielle watches her, impassive. 

_ Former psychiatrist,  _ she reminds herself.  _ Cheap trick. _

“I see the doctor is in,” she says flatly.

*

The woman in white looks up from her PADD.

“I'm sorry?” she asks.

“Nothing. You had to be there, I guess.”

“Then let's get back to the matter at hand, shall we, Dr Burnham?”

“By all means, Dr Cornwell. You were saying?”

*

“Captain Burnham is in a critical condition because of your need to make a dramatic entrance. Doesn’t that bother you?”

Gabrielle smiles. 

“Captain Burnham,” she says, savouring the words. “That does have a ring to it, doesn't it?”

“I asked you a question.”

Gabrielle draws herself up to her full height. When she speaks, her voice is calm, but there is a dangerous glint in her eyes.

“Captain Burnham is alive because of my intervention,” she says. “Without it, this little scheme of yours would have killed her. Doesn’t that bother  _ you _ ?”

Katrina blinks. Hardly an admission of guilt, but a chink in the armour all the same.

Gabrielle watches her captor approach the forcefield, close enough that the energy surges and the hum takes on a warning pitch. 

“When we return you to this timeline,” she says calmly. “And make no mistake, we will--”

“You won't, but thank you for trying.”

“--you will be charged with--”

“Breaking the Temporal Prime Directive. I know. Honestly, I'm looking forward to it.”

“The sentence is--”

“Nothing compared to the one I'm already serving. A lifetime in prison would be a small price to pay for the whole universe, don't you think?” 

*

“I don’t think you’re taking this seriously.”

Gabrielle shakes her head, frustrated.

“You don't understand, do you? None of this matters. None of this ever matters. It's just another distraction.” She is making adjustments to the suit, her movements almost as mechanical as the wings that unfold with a soft whirr. “And in a few minutes, it's going to matter even less.”

“I don't--”

There’s an almighty screech of metal, and one of the dishes buckles under the pressure of the energy surging through it, filaments exploding in a shower of sparks.

“Huh. Make that a few seconds.” Gabrielle’s hands are a blur now, powering up the suit's systems. She glances at Katrina over her shoulder. “You might want to make a run for it. Right now.”

“Wha--”

An alarm blares, but the sound is drowned out when the second dish blows out, closely followed by the third--

The helmet begins to close around Gabrielle's face.

“ _ Run _ ,” she says, her words lost in the storm, right before the visor seals and all hell breaks loose. 

*

“I can’t just leave now. Surely you can see that. Knowing everything you know…” Katrina shakes her head. “I’d be a fool if I didn’t ask. And you’d be a fool if you thought I wouldn’t.”

“Hasn’t been a single time you’ve been able to resist. Why break the habit of a hundred lifetimes?”

Gabrielle lowers herself to the floor again, tired. She leans back against the legs of the suit, linking her hands behind her head.

“You want to know whether you made the right decision. On Qo’noS,” she says, the words well-worn in her memory. 

Gabrielle realises for the first time how slight the Admiral is. She has gravitas, certainly, but she wears it like armour. Underneath it, she’s … small. And scared.

Just a human, after all.

“You know,” she says eventually. “Most people want me to tell them about the future. Not you. You’re only ever interested in the past.”

“Not all of us have the opportunity to replay it,” Katrina replies. 

The suit is cool beneath Gabrielle’s hands. 

“Not all of us have the opportunity to move on from it.”

There is a long pause, scored by the hum of the forcefield surrounding Gabrielle.

Katrina manages a tight nod.

“Thank you,” she says softly. She smooths the front of her uniform, and when she straightens back up, she’s Admiral Cornwell once again. “I have to go. There’s a lot of work to do. Saving the universe isn’t easy, you know.”

She turns to go, and Gabrielle smiles to herself. 

“Good luck,” she says. “Oh, and- Admiral?”

Katrina looks back.

“For the record. This version of you? It’s my favourite so far. But I hope I don’t have to meet you for the first time again.”

“Me either.” Katrina takes a deep breath, looking at the dome of the forcefield. “I’m sorry it had to be like this.”

“You could make it up to me. You  _ could _ let me go.” Gabrielle’s tone is hopeful, but her expression suggests that she already knows the answer.

Katrina smiles wanly.

“Has there ever been a time that I've said yes?”

Gabrielle shrugs.

“Not yet. But there's a first time for everything.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[PODFIC] Not Yet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18595915) by [Thimblerig](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thimblerig/pseuds/Thimblerig)




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